Also, do not prop up your muzzle loader next to the kettle stove, it has the same results. Had a friend who did that once, no one got hurt, but lesson learned.

Wait a minute...he was a felon, you say?

Then where did he get a gun, of all the cockamamie things! Everybody knows felons can't get a gun.

'Course, this case also proves he's not quite bright enough to earn a lawful living and stupid enough to have been caught before.

Man that brings back memories. Way back when I was 16, back when it was legal to drive drunk off your butt, I was at a party at some chick’s house, drunk as all get-out. I was making time with some young hottie and leaning against the oven, but little did I know but I was leaning against the knobs (the oven knobs, not hers) and inadvertently turned it on. Also unbeknownst to me, her mom stored the bread in the oven for some damn reason and the heat of the now hot oven melted the plastic wrapping which started to smoke up the entire kitchen. Man that was a buzz-kill.